Why do you work so hard—really?
When you get caught in working long hours, it can be hard to detect if you are just committed to your career, or are a workaholic. I have fallen into that trap myself in the past. I have learnt a lot since then.
Any aspect of our lives about which we are uncomfortable first creates stress at the mental and emotional levels of our consciousness. If that stress remains unidentified or unresolved, it begins to deplete our energy levels, until, eventually, it creates disease. Dis-ease—that is, lack of ease about the way we live.
Ignore the warning signs long enough and what begins as a minor irritation can end up as an ulcer. Or worse.
Fatigue slows us down and reduces our concentration and retention abilities. As a result, the harder we work to make up for lost time, the more time it takes to accomplish the simplest of tasks.
The solution may be as simple as working shorter days, or allowing yourself a full weekend or more frequent breaks in which to recharge your batteries. With a fresher mind, you will be able to get through the workload faster.
Sometimes, the solution is to work ‘smarter, not harder’. It is worth considering that we might be working increasingly long hours because of poor organisation or inefficient time management. In my experience of organising systems or improving work processes for a variety of offices, I’ve found there is often a way to approach a workload a little more effectively, or to find a little extra space.
Sometimes, if you are a true workaholic, finding the solution is a little more complex. The very term ‘workaholic’ implies an addiction over which we have no control, even though it is damaging to our wellbeing.
We become workaholics for various subconscious reasons. The strongest human instinct is the drive to protect ourselves from physical injury or emotional pain. If, in your subconscious perception, working hard is the only way to address your deep-seated needs, no amount of logic will defy that perception. The challenge is to find out what unrecognised, unresolved driving forces are controlling your life and diminishing your choices.
The healthiest reason to work long hours is passion. If you love what you do and can’t get enough of it, you’ll feel continually enthused and invigorated. The measure of a passion is how much you are prepared to sacrifice for it. Are you sure you’re prepared to sacrifice your family, your social life—even your health—for this ‘passion’? Is it really passion, or is there another driving force making you a workaholic?
Escape is one drive. Sometimes we bury ourselves in busy schedules to fill a void in our lives, such as loneliness, or perhaps lack of fulfillment. There’s nothing like work to keep us in denial! Being busy is a great excuse to avoid confronting and dealing with a disturbing issue.
Guilt is another very common driving force. The desire to be a good provider for loved ones has driven many of my clients to work long, hard hours. Sadly, the increased workload they undertook to earn the required income actually prevented them from being the good parents they were striving to be. It was only when they had the courage to question the results they were achieving that they were able to find the best compromise—best for them as well as for their families. That’s what a balanced lifestyle is—one that meets the needs of all concerned. Including yours!
Feelings of inadequacy can fuel a need to prove ourselves to anyone whose approval we crave—perhaps to prove to ourselves that we are ‘good enough’. Are you on too many committees, or doing too much pro bono work? How much is too much anyway? The answer is the extent to which it injures other important aspects of your life. Being generous with your time and expertise for a good cause is certainly laudable, but it is out of balance if it causes distress to you or to those you love. Sometimes, the need is to leave our mark on the world— to accomplish something significant. Yet, if we suffer from low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy, whatever we are accomplishing is never enough. Because the real need is not being addressed, we work longer and longer hours in an attempt to attain the perceived goal, which, of course, always remains out of reach.
Fatigue slows us down and reduces our concentration and retention abilities. As a result, the harder we work to make up for lost time, the more time it takes to accomplish the simplest of tasks.
The basis of all our subconscious drives is fear.
This is the most difficult thing to admit to ourselves. Fear? Who—me? Never! But if you really stop to ask yourself probing questions—interrogate yourself, if you will—you may well find a fear fueling your drive to work unreasonable hours. Fear of losing your job or that client, fear of not meeting deadlines or retirement goals, fear of failing or of being found inadequate, fear of facing that painful issue—all very good reasons to bury yourself in long hours!
The trick is to discover what unrecognised, unresolved driving forces are controlling your life. The trouble is, we rarely pause to find out what is really going on in our subconscious. There’s no time—we’re too busy working! (And here’s another fear for you—who knows what you might find if you dig down there! No thanks!)
If the shoe hurts, maybe it’s time to do a little soul searching.
There are many powerful techniques to help us find out what is going on underneath the façades, the illusions supported by whatever wonderful logic we have managed to concoct. It’s not always easy to work it out alone. But the biggest challenge for a workaholic can be making the time—periodically—to think about your life and what you want from it. To speculate where you would like to be in, say, five or ten years. It can be the subject of terrific family discussions. And yet, so many of us have no idea of the answers to questions like that. If we don’t make regular time to assess whether our lives are on track or not, we lose any ability to connect with our true feelings. Notice I said ‘making the time’, not ‘finding the time’. If a threat is perceived to any extent, that self-protective instinct will want to make absolutely sure you never find the time.
It comes to down to making an appointment with yourself.
Here’s an attitude you might like to adopt:
I believe in treating myself with the same respect as I treat my clients. If I arrange a meeting with a client, I not only turn up, but I turn up on time. I would have to have a very good reason to cancel a meeting, and I would immediately arrange an alternative time. In the same way, I make appointments to spend time with myself, and I make sure I turn up for my own life.
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