How Do You Handle Worries? Two Ways to Cope with Nagging Worries
by Jacquie Wise
There are two ways to cope with nagging worries. One way will drag you into a downward spiral of negativity and hopelessness. That’s Destructive Worry. The other way will lead you towards the best solution. That’s Constructive Worry.
Ask yourself these questions to find out if your tendency is Destructive:
I worry endlessly and can’t control it. It affects my sleep, energy, diet and mood.
I convince myself that
- It hasn’t really happened
- It’s someone else’s fault
- Whatever I try to do will be a disaster
- It’ll go away by itself
- If I ignore it, someone else will fix it
- People will be talking about me behind my back
Here’s how to use Constructive Worry to move from problems to solution:
- I make it a priority to develop a strategy and plan of action
- I give myself time and space to concentrate without distraction
- I take appropriate action to improve what I can
- I learn the necessary skills (eg conflict management)
- I take action when the time is right
- I delay only if there’s a very good reason
- I seek advice from people with knowledge and experience
- I ask friends or colleagues for help with specific tasks
- I seek professional coaching where necessary
- I outsource if it moves my project forward
Reframing and Growth:
- I change any negative self-talk to a realistically positive outlook
- I look for the benefits and growth opportunities in the situation
- I change destructive behaviours (eg sabotage/procrastination)
Venting and Releasing:
- I talk to people who can provide me with emotional support
- I let my feelings out in a journal
- I do vigorous exercise to release pent-up stress
- I take responsibility for my contribution to the situation
- I accept with compassion that others may not be able to change
- I accept that nothing more can be done; I’ve done the best I can
- I let go of guilt, learn from the situation and move on
- I ensure all stakeholders are kept well-informed at each stage of the process. If I have to communicate a problem or mistake, I specify the action I intend to take to deal with it.
Imagine how you would feel if you were confident in handling worries. Interested? If so, contact me directly to arrange a convenient appointment time.
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