How others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself

How others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself

by Jacquie Wise

How others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourselfIf you treat yourself well, you’ll attract others who treat you well. If you neglect your needs, you’ll find that same behaviour reflected in the way others neglect you.

It took years for me to learn to respect myself. When people treated me badly, I was convinced I was to blame. When I finally developed some self-esteem and ensured I met my own needs, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.

The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. William Makepeace Thackeray

The first step in the process involves noticing the specific things you do to show someone you care

• you go out of your way to provide what they need (affection, support, space…)

• you listen respectfully to their concerns, providing constructive feedback

• you try to make it fun for them to be with you, so you think of different things you could do together

• you encourage, uplift and affirm them

• you nurture them, encouraging them to look after their health (to eat well, exercise…)

• you surprise them with small gifts, treats, text messages or cards

• if you need to correct them, you do so constructively and respectfully

• if you accidentally hurt or upset them, you apologise and make it up to them

• you support their growth and freedom by allowing them opportunities

• you show interest in what they do

The second step is to check how many of these thoughtful actions you provide to yourself.

• you go out of your way to ensure you get what you need (space, respect… )

• you listen respectfully to your concerns, identifying them through your journal

• you make space to do things you enjoy doing and learn to have fun being alone

• you encourage, uplift and affirm yourself in your journal

• you nurture yourself, and look after your health (eat well, exercise…)

• you treat yourself to small gifts within your budget (without guilt!)

• if you need to correct yourself, you do so constructively and respectfully, rather than beating yourself up

• if you disadvantage yourself for the sake of pleasing someone else, you find ways to make it up to yourself

• you support your growth and ‘me time’ by negotiating opportunities assertively

• you respect what’s important to you and allow time and space for it

Any day or time of year that you choose is a good opportunity to observe that how others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself.

Is it time for you to review how you treat yourself and reflect on how others are treating you? Would you like some guidance? If so, contact me directly to arrange a convenient appointment time.


I’d love to know what you think of what I’ve said here.

You can give me your feedback, ask a question by email or post a comment below.

If you or someone you know would like a personal consultation, please call +61 3 9690 8159.

Take charge of your life with Jacquie Wise.

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Any information presented on our website is of a general nature only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice.

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© Jacquie Wise – Integrative Coach, Counsellor, Speaker, Trainer and Author, specialising in life, love, work and soul (www.wiseways.com.au)

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