I have a problem with public speaking - please help
Problem with public speaking and how to deal with it.
I was given a high profile calling at church and I get put off by alot of sisters. They show their disapproval for my appointment by sniggling at me when I stood up to open up or conduct the programme. Then showing a serious face. Problem with public speaking is common.
At the last meeting one elderly lady put her hand up to say she could not understand what i was saying. All this is very depressing for me, and I felt better after speaking about it. I acknowledge I have a problem with public speaking. Sometimes I feel weak, put on show and the need to entertain (despite being one labelled as quiet and reserved, shy – descriptions I have heard and hear so often). I become a bumbling idiot and forget composure when I am put in a role of responsibility.
Can you give me some advice please? I heard about you, from a book I found in my local op shop, and enjoyed reading it. I liked what you said about being yourself if you werent born with the ‘gift of the gab’. You stood out for your practical advice. Thank you, M
Dear M
Thank you for your enquiry. If you still have the copy of my book, The Gift of the Gab and How to Get it, you’ll find a whole chapter in there about how to overcome nerves when speaking in public and deliver a meaningful presentation.
The best presentations are genuine and sincere and are delivered in exactly the same way as you would talk to people across a dinner table. You may like to practice with a friend and then model that informal, sincere style when you’re in front of an audience. You may be trying too hard to entertain and ‘put on a show’ as you say, which is likely to be drowning your message. Sincerity is always best.
Problem with public speaking is a common issue.
If you’re talking to an audience that already knows you in some capacity, it can be more difficult to present to them than to an audience of strangers who have no preconceived ideas about you.
You might also like to reflect on your own thoughts about yourself. If you lack confidence in your appearance or ability to speak well, this may give you the impression that others are criticizing you, when they may not be.
If someone couldn’t understand what you were saying, it could be your voice is too soft. Maybe the way you pronounce words, or maybe that elderly person had a problem with hearing.
Try to ignore the sniggers. I’d like to see them up there having the courage to do what you do. They may well be jealous. As I say in my book, focus on friendly, responsive faces in the audience. Talk to them, ignoring any unresponsive faces that put you off. Just don’t look at them. There’ll be plenty of other faces who are paying attention to you to focus on.
If ever you feel hesitant during a presentation, smile. Not only will it give you more confidence and allow your audience to relate to you better, but the muscles you use in smiling will open up your airways and make your voice sound stronger as well as more friendly.
I recommend you attend a short course on public speaking at a local adult education college, to gain practice and feedback on your personal style.
Wishing you all the best and congratulations on your courage and persistence.
The best presentations are genuine and sincere and are delivered in exactly the same way as you would talk to people across a dinner table.
Following this, M wrote to me again saying:
I can’t believe you replied!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I
know your time is precious and costs.
You were bang on in your assessment of my problem.…
… your very practical advice and words couldnt have come at a better time. I was so desperate to get some help, and YOU were THE one who I thought would know what to do. I know your time costs too.
Much appreciation, M
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