How others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself
Treat yourself well if you want others to treat you with the respect you deserve.
The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. (William Makepeace Thackeray)
If you treat yourself well, you’ll attract others who treat you well. If you neglect your needs, you’ll find that same behaviour reflected in the way others neglect you.
It took years for me to learn to respect myself. When people treated me badly, I was convinced I was to blame. When I finally developed some self-esteem and ensured I met my own needs, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.
The first step in the process involves noticing the specific things you do to show someone you care
you go out of your way to provide what they need (affection, support, space…)
you listen respectfully to their concerns, providing constructive feedback
trying to make it fun for them to be with you, so you think of different things you could do together
you encourage, uplift and affirm them
you nurture them, encouraging them to look after their health (to eat well, exercise…)
surprising them with small gifts, treats, text messages or cards
if you need to correct them, you do so constructively and respectfully
if you accidentally hurt or upset them, you apologise and make it up to them
you support their growth and freedom by allowing them opportunities
you show interest in what they do
One thing I’ve learnt from observing successful people
is that they do all their thinking in writing.
The second step is to check how many of these thoughtful actions you use to treat yourself
you go out of your way to ensure you get what you need (space, respect… )
you listen respectfully to your concerns, identifying them through your journal
making space to do things you enjoy doing and learn to have fun being alone
you encourage, uplift and affirm yourself in your journal
you nurture yourself, and look after your health (eat well, exercise…)
treating yourself to small gifts within your budget (without guilt!)
if you need to correct yourself, you do so constructively and respectfully, rather than beating yourself up
if you disadvantage yourself for the sake of pleasing someone else, you find ways to make it up to yourself
you support your growth and ‘me time’ by negotiating opportunities assertively
you respect what’s important to you and allow time and space for it
Any day or time of year that you choose is a good opportunity to observe that how others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself.
Is it time for you to review how you treat yourself and reflect on how others are treating you? Would you like some guidance? If so, contact me directly to arrange a convenient appointment time.
I’d love to know what you think of what I’ve said here.
You can give me your feedback, ask a question by email or post a comment below.
If you or someone you know would like a personal consultation, please call +61 439 969 081.
