What to do on a first date - three tips for success
First date time is never easy for anyone.
Question
When I’m on a first date, I just freeze. I’m too self-conscious, so I hold back, not knowing how to behave. The more I like the guy I’m dating, the more I freeze and I don’t give him a chance to get to know me. No amount of positive self-talk helps me be who I really am.
Answer
What you describe is a common experience for those of us who lack confidence. The more we want to impress, the harder it gets. Here are three tips to help with that first date.
Tip No 1: Act ‘as if’’
When you don’t know what to do or say with someone you find daunting for whatever reason, it may help to act as if you are going out with a friend you know well and with whom you are comfortable. It gives you a benchmark of what you would say if you were relaxed.
First date time can be a challenge.
Tip No 2: Think of this outing as an opportunity to make a new friend
The reason dates can be daunting is that we are asking ourselves if this could be THE RELATIONSHIP. Your first task is to get to know each other as friends. You can’t have a good relationship if you can’t have a friendship.
Find out what each of your interests are, how you like to spend your time, places you’ve been, things you’ve seen… Somewhere in the conversation, you’ll find something you have in common. Or not.
For every piece of information you ask about, give an equal amount of information about yourself, whether your date asks or not. That should help diminish the freezing. This is not an interview, it’s a balanced exchange of information.
Instead of focusing on whether you are interesting to your date, how about focusing on whether your date is interesting enough for you?
Remember that every date could be jut a rehearsal for the one that will lead to a relationship.
Tip No 3: Focus on putting your date at ease
Your date may be feeling just as nervous about the impression he’s giving to you. It works both ways. Take the focus off yourself and concentrate on being warm and friendly to help your date relax.
Imagine how you would feel if you were able to be comfortable on a first date because you were relaxed and happy in your own skin. Interested? If so, contact me directly to arrange a convenient appointment time.
Once you’re on a first date you’ve taken the step.
I’d love to know what you think of what I’ve said here.
You can give me your feedback, ask a question by email.
If you or someone you know would like a personal consultation, please call +61 439 969 081.
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