Wise Ways to appear confident even when you’re not
Question
Hello Jacquie. How can I appear confident even when I don’t feel confident, particularly in social situations?
Answer
Hmn. My question is, why is it so important to appear confident? In a work context, people assess your level of ability with your confidence.
But in personal contexts?? Shyness is a very endearing quality. It can be part of your natural charm. You can still be well informed enough to make varied conversation and be attentive and polite, even if people notice you’re not confident.
In fact, if they do notice you’re not confident, it can even be impressive. Take public speaking, for example. As long as you give valuable content in your presentation, your audience will respect that and admire you for doing such a good job, even if you were obviously nervous. Learn to say ‘So What?’ Focus on what’s really important.
Take an interest in gaining enough information to enable you to give a well-reasoned opinion. If you’re not ready to voice an opinion, at least research a few key points you could raise as questions.
Confident people aren’t concerned about making mistakes—even making fools of themselves occasionally, because they know that overall, it won’t matter. They have enough good qualities to make up for the odd blunder.
We can learn from that attitude if we concentrate on doing the things we do well and forgiving ourselves of the rest.
If you worry less about how you come across and worry more about getting to know the other person, it will take pressure off you and put your focus on where it should be in any interaction.
Appearing confident is also about acting.
Imagine how you would act if you were confident. Or if you were with people you knew well and with whom you could be yourself. Then act that. Exactly that behaviour. If you get tongue-tied, imagine what you would say if you were with a close friend and say that.
I can say from personal experience that this strategy works well.
I have also written several other blog articles on the topics of how to be more authentic, overcoming low self-esteem and are you a good risk taker?
Imagine how much more confident you would feel if you were able to master these concepts in your own life. Interested? If so, contact me directly to arrange a convenient appointment time.
I’d love to know what you think of what I’ve said here.
You can give me your feedback, ask a question by email.
If you or someone you know would like a personal consultation, please call +61 439 969 081.
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